Month: February 2024

While David is on his long anticipated cross country trip (he started dreaming of this trip long before we decided to move back west), the cats and I are at home. We are watching his adventure unfold with the rest of you.

Fortunately, life at home is not much of an adventure. There are regular lectures from our Nommie and Xena Malka is being a little extra clingy. On the other hand, she has an itchy ear and is getting ear drops twice a day, so she has more than one reason to be a bit out of sorts.

I am doing better than I had feared/anticipated. I haven’t ventured out of the apartment yet, but I did have an excursion planned for today that got rescheduled for Thursday. I will also need to go visit our friendly pharmacist in the next day or two to pick up a refill. So I have adequate motivation to get out of the apartment. It does absolutely blow my mind that bu the end of next week, I will be living in California.

But first, some absolute road warrior machinations by David. He and our car are scheduled to arrive in Marin in time to meet up with our new landlord, do a walkthrough of the house and get the keys on March 1st. That is a Friday, so he is staying the weekend to get some things set and he will need Monday to do things like get our free P.O. Box because we are going so rural that we won’t even get regular mail deliveries (UPS and Fed Ex both come to the house).

My job in David’s absence is to get things like utilities and the internet set up so we can live like civilized people. We already had to change our phone provider from Ting (whom we had for over a decade and loved, but their wireless calling is tied to a mobile network and we don’t have cell service at the house either) which literally was a multi-day process, and not because of anything technical. Today I dealt with getting our propane deliveries set up. I am dreading PGE., so I am pushing that one off for last.

David flies home on the 5th to help me and the cats get ready for us all to fly out on March 8th. The cats have been to the vet, have had their rabies shots (and have their requisite certificates) and we have gabapentin for both of them to make the trauma of a cross country flight more bearable. And an anti-emetic for our Xena Malka who gets motion sick.

Once we get settled, David heads back to the airport to meet the movers on Astoria on March 15th. After a few extra days for our cleaner to come do a deep clean, returning keys, etc., he finally flies back to Marin where we can start settling in. Well, as much settling in as we can do until our crap–including all of the crap that has been in storage for almost two years–arrives at some date to be magically determined by the mover.

The thing about chronic pain is that when it goes away, everything feels so much lighter.

When I am in pain, it feels like weights have been attached to my body. It is just so hard to move. Today is my first (relatively) pain free day in a month and I feel like I have suddenly been set free. I can do and be again. At least as much as my current malnourished state allows.

How do I know that it has been a month? Funny story, that*.

You know how generic drugs are supposed to be bio-identical and work as well as each other and the name brand? Well, that’s not quite the case. In fact, it has been fairly well documented that some generics are just different, despite looking bio-identical to the generics that work. But it hasn’t gotten much press. I have seen maybe two articles ever. And one goes back so far that I read it while we were still living in Portland.

A bit more than a month ago, the pharmacy sourced the duloxetine I take to convince my confused brain that gut motility does not equal pain, from a different manufacturer.

Maybe it was a bit cheaper, maybe it was just what was available, who knows. but it happens all of the time at most pharmacies. No ill intent. Just how the generic wholesale pharmaceutical market works (as I understand it from those two articles I mentioned. I am in no way an expert on such things).

Anyway, over this past month, I have certainly noticed that the pain that the duloxetine had been managing was back. So much so that I am in conversations with my doctors about weaning me off the duloxetine and trying a new antidepressant. It has been a very bad month, pain-wise.

A couple of days ago, I refilled my duloxetine prescription and I immediately noticed that it was from a previous manufacturer. A previous manufacturer whose product had worked for me. So I was optimistic when I took the first dose of the refill last night. And today I feel amazing!

I am completely overdoing it today, and I know it. But I couldn’t help myself. It has just been so long since I felt this pain-free. I know that I will pay for it tomorrow, but I have no regrets. I am thinking about it as the very occasional decision one makes in middle age to screw your bedtime and hang out with your friends until late. You know you will be paying for it for the next few days, but are enjoying yourself too much to care about future you. And even future you agrees that it was well worth the cost**.

I have to give full credit to my friend Jemiah for aiding in the solving of this mystery. She recently went through the exact same issue and it definitely helped the penny drop.

*We have been rewatching Lucifer and I seem to have picked up some of his verbal quirks.

**Clearly, I am getting excited at the prospect of getting to hang out with friends again once we move!

Want to know what life with a chronic illness is like? We have big news. Like huge. But instead of excitedly announcing it to the world, I am spending my days in bed laying stiff as a board, because curling up in a fetal position, no matter how much I desperately want to, is just too painful.

To make matters worse, my presumably more communicative GI didn’t respond to calls over two days. he did respond over the portal (which I didn’t use initially because it says it is only for non-urgent issues and can take 2 days to respond). He told me what to do, but that was all. There is no indication that he called in the necessary Rx changes and he has failed to respond to my follow-up question for 24 hours and counting. I am considering myself ghosted.

This is where the big news comes in. We are moving to Woodacre, California in March. It is in west Marin County and is the most rural that I have ever lived. There is no mail delivery. We have to get a P.O. Box. Even the goat farm had mail delivery.

But it is not as isolated as it sounds. It is 45 minutes from San Francisco where there are world class medical facilities. It is also, where we can socialize outdoors 3+ seasons of the year. And the house we are renting has beautiful decks and a bathroom that we can isolate from the rest of the house. Guests can use it unmasked without putting anyone’s health at risk. Most importantly, there are lots of friends and family nearby to socialize with, those 3+ seasons of the year.

My point? Maybe my new doctors will be more responsive. I already have one doctor in place. He is a Naturopath with extensive experience with gastroparesis. He is located in Oregon, but he is licensed in California so we can do televisits. Worst case scenario? I have to make a trip up to Portland to see him. I am sure my friends will be crushed.