I have taken the last of my antibiotics and I find myself feeling as good as I did back in July, before this all started. On Thanksgiving, I was able to stay engaged and social for 6 hours and I ate a very small amount (but more than I have been able to eat in a long time) of delicious food. I only had one episode where I got so queasy that I needed to re-medicate. Overall, a raging success.
This is particularly excellent news because we have people coming to visit us every month through February. We are clearly emerging from the cocoon we constructed, by necessity, over the course of my most recent health crisis.
Now that I have the ability to think again, I find myself trying to process the last 4 months. Severe pain forces one to shrink their focus down to what is immediately in front of them. I was stuck in the lowest level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t plan and I certainly couldn’t process what was happening to me.
David came to all of my medical appointments because I was an unreliable reporter. I couldn’t even remember how I had felt the previous day. All I knew was the present. The past was irrelevant and the future was unimaginable.
David was an excellent reporter and an even better advocate. Sometimes David would push for things that didn’t even make sense to me. But I was usually smart enough not to push back. And in the harsh light of day with the benefit of hindsight, he was always right.
TPN (my IV nutrition) requires special care. My PICC line leads right to my heart, so infection is always a concern. A nurse has to come in once a week to draw blood for labs, change my dressing and change the extensions. The reason that she no longer comes twice a week is because she trained David to change my extensions. This is not something she teaches all of her patients. But she was particularly impressed with David’s careful attention to the finicky process.
This was not the blog post that I had expected I would write. But it is apparently what I really needed to say. It seems that the first thing I needed to do as I start to process the past 4 months, was to express my gratitude for David and all he has stepped up to do. He has been amazingly supportive since I first got sick, but he really stepped up during this most recent crisis.
Our 25th wedding anniversary was on November 7th. But I was in no shape to celebrate it then. I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge that I chose very wisely. I cannot imagine a better life partner. And as much as I regret that I need to be cared for to the degree that my health demands, I would not want anyone else to be there for me than David.