My Kafka-esque Existence

This is David writing for Eva again. 

Much remains the same as the last time I posted. Eva is still in pain and nauseated. We have some new symptoms (diarrhea). We have the same feeding tube Eva has had since early August. We have blown past two appointments for getting it swapped out without getting the necessary approval from the insurance company.

Just a reminder: Eva has been in a great deal of pain since she had this tube put in on August 1, and has been unable to use it for feeding because of the pain. Instead she is now on TPN (IV nutrition). We believe the pain is being caused by this tube or how it was placed given that the pain and the placement happened at the same time. None of the imaging has shown any reason this should be true, but it also hasn’t ruled it out. 

About 6 weeks ago the GI authorized a tube swap for Eva (though this was not well communicated). It was originally scheduled for Second Day Rosh Hashanah (October 4). But first, as with everything in today’s medical system, we needed clearance from the insurer. 

Stanford is out of network, but there is a magic form that lets them perform the procedure as though they were in network. But despite a heroic push by our complex care coordinator, this form could not be completed by October 4th. The night of October 3, the procedure was pushed, rescheduled for October 24 (“hey! That’s tomorrow,” I hear you thinking). For the last three weeks our complex care coordinator has been chasing around with Stanford and Blue Shield, trying to establish where the form was and whether it had been approved. Stanford said it had been submitted. Blue Shield said they’d never seen it. Stanford couldn’t produce a copy for our complex care coordinator to show Blue Shield and push through the bureaucracy. This has been the subject of daily pushing by us and our complex care coordinator for at least 10 days.

Today, the secretary of the GI practice at Stanford sent a note through the patient portal saying, essentially, “form? What form? We never filled out a form.” Procedure was canceled again.

Eva remains in debilitating pain. The form seems not to exist yet. We have to start over from the beginning. And now Blue Shield says it is taking them a week to enter forms into their system for review, so plan extra time for that. 

To say we are frustrated (and that Eva is so far beyond frustrated that I don’t have words to express it), would be rather like a theologian describing God as “good” (that’s a pretty funny line for those who have studied medieval theology–if not, well, have you considered going to seminary so you get the reference? It doesn’t take more than five or six years…). Yes, we are exploring other options (can this be done truly in-network? To what degree is this a commodity procedure and to what degree does specialization matter?). Yes, the complex care coordinator is part of the frustrated we. I believe Kafka was mentioned today.

And so, we are restarting this process again tomorrow. Girding ourselves once more to battle bureaucracies that specialize in making it difficult to speak to a human (again, so grateful that the complex care coordinator does much of that navigation for us). Eva remains in pain and nauseated. And we continue to float on in winds and tides of large institutions, subject to their whims and arbitrary decisions. 

Part 2 of ????

Before we go back into the past, here is a short update from today. As directed, I sent my GI an update this morning at 10am. When I hadn’t heard back by almost 3, my complex care coordinator called the office for the second nudge of the day (the first, earlier in the day, confirmed that he had read it). Time is of the essence because the office closes at 4pm, and he is off Fridays, so if I don’t get a response today, the earliest I will hear back is Monday.

His response is mostly useless. He says to increase my Lyrica to 3x/day in a couple of days (reiterating what he told me at my appointment on Monday), but did not answer any of my questions about hydration, nutrition or possible causes for this “whatever is going on with me.”

I wrote back telling him that I have not urinated since the few drops I squeezed out last night before bed at 10pm. I then reiterated my question about when we should be considering home hydration. My complex care coordinator then promptly called the office to make sure that he read my response.

Now, I will turn the blog over to David,
Sunday, May 8, Eva sleeps a lot of the day, spends a few hours sitting up, but is feeling pretty crappy all day. It gets worse as it becomes evening. Eva is lying absolutely still on the bed, in the one position that is slightly less uncomfortable than the others. Horrible nausea. Dysautonomia resulting in alternating sweats and chills. Eva would have gone to the ED, except it seems like they can’t do anything to help. She is venting as much as 500 ml overnight. 

Monday morning is no better. Eva spends all of Monday in bed. We still can’t get ahold of Eva’s GI, but the complex care coordinator gets us an appointment for Tuesday morning with another doctor in the office, and her GI says he will call her. N

Eva’s GI cancels the appointment for Tuesday with his associate. Eva’s case is too complex for someone else to deal with. He says he tried to call but didn’t even get voicemail (Eva’s phone absolutely has voicemail set up and several of us called Eva’s phone and it worked just fine). We leave Eva’s number and my number to make sure he has the right phone number plus a backup.  He says he will call back. He doesn’t. 

Eva’s jejunum (the very beginning of the small intestine, and the body part that gives “j” to Eva’s “G-J tube”) is becoming sore. This is a new symptom for Eva and will become part of an ongoing set of issues that involve the intestines (as opposed to the stomach, which is where gastroparesis manifests). 

By Monday evening, we are beginning to think about whether Eva is heading for an in-patient stay at the hospital. 

A word about Dancer. Throughout the time Eva has been sick, he has been taking great care of Eva, spending however many hours a day in bed with Eva, snuggling with her, and nosing at her and even nipping at her if she starts to get up and he doesn’t think she is feeling well enough for that. [FWIW, he isn’t wrong in his concern. – ed.] We aren’t sure we particularly approve of the last behavior, but it seems to come from a place of love and concern. 

Tuesday morning (May 9), Eva wakes up outrageously early in pain. After consulting with the complex care coordinator, she wakes me about 8 AM and we are into the NY Presbyterian Cornell Weill Hospital Emergency Department (ED) at 10:00 AM. Immediately, they whisk Eva away for an EKG. Apparently this is something they just do.

Eva is experience significant dysregulation: sweats and chills alternating minute by minute. There is nausea and cramping (the cramping is intestina,l a brand new symptom). She is given IV hydration which improves how she is feeling enormously, IV Zofran which addresses the nausea. 

The Nurse Practitioner (NP) working with Eva is the first ED person who seems really conversant with GJ tubes. He talks knowledgeably about choices for administering the Reglan.He gives Eva Reglan through an IV, all as a single bolus (push). This turns out to be a bad thing. Eva becomes even more miserable, shivering so much she is shaking the bed. She can’t put together sentences. The NP suspects an allergic reaction to the speed with which the Reglan was administered, and gives Eva IV Benadryl. Eva sleeps, still shivering at times. 

The ED doc wants a CT scan of Eva’s stomach, intestines, etc. They don’t see anything relevant to how Eva is feeling, but Eva’s appendix is “prominent”. A surgical resident comes to find us to talk about Eva’s appendix. We are confused because no one has mentioned anything about Eva’s appendix or the CT scan results to us yet, and the surgical resident is talking like we came in because we thought there was a problem with Eva’s appendix. After about five minutes, we figure out what was going on (I know, I could have told this story so much better if I led you through the process as we experienced it, but I’m somewhat distracted by making sure Eva gets all her meds, has some nutrition and some hydration; clearly, I will never be submitting this blog post as a writing sample). The resident examines Eva, pokes around at her abdomen, says it seems unlikely the appendix is a problem, but the surgical attending will have to make that call, and he’s in surgery. She leaves. Eva’s stomach and intestines are really painful following being poked at by the resident (okay, palpated by the resident). 

At 5:00 PM (Tuesday), Eva’s GI finally calls back (the call back we’ve been waiting on since Thursday morning, with the in-person visit with his associate scheduled for 9:30 AM Tuesday morning which he canceled). Unsurprisingly, it is not a particularly useful call, in part because Eva is beginning to feel a little more stable, in part because she is exhausted and dopey and not doing great communicating, and in part because we haven’t really figured out yet that there are times when I need to take over communication with medical providers when she’s feeling like this. 

By 6:00 PM, we are beginning to feel like they have done all the stabilization they are likely to do, and we’re beginning to think about heading home. Unfortunately, we are still waiting on the surgical attending to take a look at Eva’s appendix situation, and he’s in surgery, and they really don’t want to send us home without that. 

I’m getting dopey. I haven’t eaten since 8:30 that morning, and my low blood sugar is beginning to show. But this is a classy hospital, and when I ask where I can buy a sandwich, they point me around the corner to a supply of food available for patients and families in the ED. 

Around 8:00 PM a different surgical resident comes to poke around at Eva’s appendix. This again results in pain. She also thinks the appendix is probably fine, but the attending still needs to sign off.  The attending is still in surgery. He will look at the CT scan as soon as he gets out. 

Around 10:00 PM the attending sends word that the appendix, while “prominent” on the CT scan, looks fine. We head home, exhausted.  While we are home by 10:30, we both need time to wind down. Eva is ready for bed well before midnight. I’m not laying down to sleep until 2:00 AM. 

Adventures in a Queens Emergency Department


The following is Part I of the account of the last week and a half. The writer is David, because if we were waiting for Eva to be up for writing, it might be a while.

On Wednesday, May 3, Eva’s nausea ramped up to intolerable levels. She lives with constant nausea, so when she says it’s bad, it’s pretty awful. She could no longer take in liquid orally. At the time, she was still able to tolerate some jello and tiny fruit juice popsicles. 

At the same time, she was starting to vent large quantities of fluid through her G-tube (gastric-tube, i.e., from the stomach). She vented roughly 150 ml in a couple of hours. This is very unusual, but not a unique occurrence for Eva.  

By the next day, her J tube (jejunum-tube, the beginning of the small intestine) wanted in on the action and was insisting on venting small amounts of bile. This is a unique occurrence. Eva was using medical marijuana, Zofran, ginger and a scopolamine patch to try to control nausea, to no avail. 

As an aside, these events of 10 days ago are so hazy in either of our minds, that I’m looking back to text chains of conversations with our complex care coordinator to reconstruct things. It has been a long week and a half.

Eva’s current GI was unavailable for conversations on this Thursday.

On Friday, Eva’s GI is off. But we did manage to have a conversation with the on call GI at his practice, who pulled Eva off the scopolamine and put her on a dose of Ativan. 

At this point, Eva is feeling her electrolytes getting out of whack. One of the issues around gastroparesis is that the body processes salt differently and requires much more of it. Eva normally uses a packet of electrolytes for high intensity athletes daily. But she also requires regular hydration because the free water available in her formula is limited, and what she can drink is extremely limited, and she wasn’t getting enough extra in her flushes (syringes of water used to clear the j-tube every four hours or so during awake hours). This is about to become relevant. 

Saturday, things are getting worse. Eva is feeling “wonky and woozy.” Electrolytes are out of balance, she is dehydrated. We clearly need to get Eva some IV hydration. 

This seems like something simple to do. There are spas that offer IV hydration. We figure we will just show up at an urgent care around the corner and get this dealt with. No big deal. 

Big deal. Apparently urgent care doesn’t do hydration. Apparently the spas aren’t as set up to do this as their advertising claims. The complex care coordinators are not wild about us having a nurse come to the house to administer hydration because they’d kind of like testing available, just in case. This means . . . off to the hospital. 

But remember, this isn’t a big deal, we just need a bag of saline water to flow into Eva’s veins. We were originally looking to do this at an urgent care. So, instead of heading into Manhattan to a serious hospital, we head to a minor hospital in Queens (albeit one in the same medical system that we are moving our care to–NY Presbyterian). 

We arrive around two. We sit in the waiting area. For hours. Until around 5. Which sort of makes sense, because Eva doesn’t present as a particularly urgent case. Then they bring us into the treatment areas. 

We explain to a PA (physician’s assistant) what the issue is (nausea, venting through G tube and a bit through J tube, dehydration. The PA is clearly confused. We realize the PA has no idea what a GJ tube is. We educate the PA (Eva feeds through the J tube, vents through the G tube . . .).

By around 6:00, maybe, we are talking with an attending. Who isn’t quite sure what to do. She’s willing to do the saline and all, but she wants to know what normally happens when we come in for treatment. Should she be admitting Eva for in-patient care? Fun fact: this is our first time on this rodeo–we don’t know what we need. That’s why she’s the doctor. This is when we realize that there is no situation when it’s a good idea to take Eva to a less than major hospital. Nothing with Eva’s health is ever simple.

They finally get her some IV Zofran for the nausea and a hydration bag at around 7:00 PM. Five hours after we arrived at the ED (Emergency Department). 

IV Zofran is Eva’s favorite drug. Like ever. It is magic for her. It makes the nausea go away. Every time. Until now. It does nothing this time. 

By 9:00 PM the fluid has fully entered Eva’s system and the off kilter, woozy feeling has retreated. They give Eva another dose of IV Zofran and send us home. The second dose reduces the nausea to a tolerable but still pretty significant level. Eva and I are beginning to have intimations that this may turn into a “thing