Drumroll, please…

A black t-shirt that has the following words in a left justified column: Clamp & Fill & Prime & Connect & Run & Flush & Close & Repeat #TubieLifeI have been meaning to make the big reveal on what I have named my pump and tube for several days now. It has just been a week since I got my tube, although it has felt like much, much longer than that. Everything is going fine, there are just new patterns to learn and new habits to develop. The This t-shirt spells out the various steps, although I think the t-shirt is useless because if I needed a reference point, the words would be upside down to me.

But that’s not what you came here for. I am sure that you have all been waiting with bated breath (if so, please exhale now) to learn what I have named my tube (aka my front tail) and my pump.

This is actually a big reveal for everyone because the names I had originally settled on have changed. I went into my procedure last week with names for both my tube and pump in mind. But it turned out to be a wise move not to share those publicly, because they have both changed. The names I had picked were simply wrong for both.

I will start with the name of my tube. This is obviously the most personal one because after all, it is coming out of my body. And that is where I went wrong with the first name I had chosen. I had been thinking of my tube as Not Me. Turns out that we are too intermingled for it to be a separate entity.

I didn’t get there on my own. Paul Anderson gets full credit for helping me understand this distinction. In his words:

Imagine you have an alien parasite burrowed into your belly and it adorably thinks it’s hiding despite its tail hanging out. It’s a confused parasite from a mirror dimension. That’s why it’s hiding.

Paul Anderson

I love the idea of having a little confused alien burrowed into my belly. Its like I have a helpful friend in me all of the time. The only part I took issue with is that my tube is not a parasite. A parasite feeds off its host. But my little alien friend feeds me. It is not a symbiote either, because to be fair, the relationship is very one sided. My new friend is the direct opposite of a parasite, and her name is Etisarap. For those wanting a little more explanation, Etisarap is parasite backwards. I don’t know if her species has gender, but she seems to be fine with me using female pronouns for her.

I had no idea what to expect from my pump. Probably because of the complete and utter paucity of information I had beforehand. As you can see, I have a Kangaroo Joey pump. It seemed only appropriate for it to have an Aussie name. I looked online for an Aboriginal dictionary and only found one.

It is a dictionary of Wagiman, a people and language group who traditionally dwelled in Australia’s Northern Territories. The word for Joey in Wagiman is Yipbarri. Thus my pump’s name is Yipbarri.

DaveGordon gets an honorary mention for coming up with the original name for the pump: R2ube/D2ube. Obviously, I took some creative license with the spelling.

I also want to take a moment to appreciate those who submitted their ideas. Your offerings included puns, drag queen names and philosophical humor. Clearly my friends know me. And I consider that to be a Very Good Thing.

One thought on “Drumroll, please…”

  1. Those are wonderful, storied names. I am glad you feel affectionate towards these critters. Etisarap seems like an attached pet! Next: how is it all working? Does it make you feel better?

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